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Thread: Nigger be needin’ a key

  1. #1
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    Default Nigger be needin’ a key

    The other day, 2 silverbacks needed a key for a year 1996 turd box. One had a silver Brillo pad on his head, and the other, we’ll, despite missing his front upper tooth on the left side, still had braces. I thought that was funny. Why bother nigger, your missing a tooth. It was probably either punched out by another nigger, or perhaps lost due to excessive crack/cocain use. Both smelled something awful. These groids were definitely out of placing, being this is a high end car dealer in a rather upperclass town. I must say, I had fun ruining their day by telling them how much this lost key for a car about to reach antique status was going to cost them. The toothless buck provided its VIN to me. I checked it out, and sure enough, it was equipped with an immobilizer system. So, it needs a chipped key, cost of $45. All keys lost require a lengthy process for the mechanic to reprogram a new key, approximately 1 1/2 hours of labor, which comes out just over $250. And, we need the car in the shop. The toothless nigger axed me “how amb I s’possed to get the caw heea widout a muffugin key” or something like that. I told it that it’ll probably have to tow it in, and that’ll probably cost it another $125 or so. “AAA done told me dey caint tow dat sheeit b’kaws dey need a key.” I’m thinking yeah right nigger, they don’t want to put their driver in danger of getting robbed or worse by sending them over to you to get your piece of crap. I did tell it “that’s odd. If they want to tow your car, they can. We both know that.” Silver Brillo pad says “we can put dat sheeit on som dollys and hook it up t’ muh trukkk.” So now I’m envisioning the ensuing damage these spear chuckers are bound to create by trying to hook this immobile hooptie up in order to bring it in. The whole time I’m trying really hard to hold in my smirks and laughter, just knowing I’m screwing up their day, and because of all of the TNB. They were even talking about being hungry, and silver Brillo pad was talking about getting some fried chicken, I shit you not. So, in the end, the toothless buck somehow figures out that a key is going to cost him over $500. I was anticipating at least a cat 2 chimpout to ensue, but surprisingly it never did. They said thank you and “we be gettin back to yooo.” This was at the end of my day, so in a way, thanks to the niggers for the extra overtime pay and mild entertainment.
    “Melanzanas, they stink!”

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  3. #2
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    niggers should be able to hot wire the hooptie

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    I know keys are expensive but when I wanted an extra key made when I bought the car, there was no problem. I thought the info was in the dealer's computer, perhaps through the manufacturer's database. Of course the car was on the lot and they had the existing keys to car. So, how does it work to make a chipped key? Is the info available through a secure on-line data base or not?
    "The Negro is a wise and noble race who carries themselves with a quiet dignity", said no one, ever.

    One day niggers will only be found in museums and fossil beds.

    Give a hungry nigger a fish, you've fed him for a day;
    Let him starve to death and you can forget about him forever.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Warlord View Post
    I know keys are expensive but when I wanted an extra key made when I bought the car, there was no problem. I thought the info was in the dealer's computer, perhaps through the manufacturer's database. Of course the car was on the lot and they had the existing keys to car. So, how does it work to make a chipped key? Is the info available through a secure on-line data base or not?
    I’ve worked for a few different vehicle manufacturers throughout my years. The procedure is always the same. To cut a key without duplication requires a key code retrieval. I submit the request with the VIN, vehicle owner’s name, license plate, and repair order number to the manufacturer, which yes, is a secured website with a database which requires password protected log ins. They then send me the code. By law, I am required to verify proof of ownership of the vehicle. I must make a copy of their driver’s license, plus any legal document with the VIN, either a title, bill of sale, or current vehicle registration. Names on ID and documents must match. If more than one name is registered to the vehicle (such as a married couple) both parties must be present and provide valid ID. Since key code requests are archived with the federal crime bureau, I must retain these copies along with requests, as I may and will get audited. This is all for the sake of the owner’s protection against theft.

    Technicians, in similar fashion, must request immobilizer codes. These codes correspond with the particular vehicle they are working on. They must use a special electronic tool to communicate with the vehicle’s computer, and program the key’s chip to the vehicle’s computer.

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