20,000 NIGGERS IN HEAVEN
Gabriel came to the Lord and said, "I have to talk to you. I have a problem. I know we have affirmative action and we are supposed to have 20,000 niggers in Heaven, but they are causing too many problems."
"They have torn down the pearly gates swinging on them, they stole my horn, got Bar-b-que sauce all over their robes. There are hamhocks, spareribs, and pigfeet bones all over the streets of gold. Some are walking around with only one wing. Angels must have two wings to fly. Those robes are eternal and must be washed 5 times a day. Some have not washed their robes since they arrived. Many who came here because they were using salt, are still using it. Some have refused to take their turn keeping the stairway to Heaven clean. Watermelon seeds are all over the clouds. Some refused to wear their haloes, saying that they don't fit right over their afros and jerri curls.
The Lord said, "It's not fair not to let niggers in Heaven. They have just as much right here as white people. Maybe we just don't know how to deal wit them. Maybe we are using the wrong approach. We need to check with someone who has had much experience dealing with them. Let's call the Devil.
The Devil answered the phone and said, "Hello Lord, what can I do for you?" The Lord said, "We have a problem up here and we would like to talk to you about it." The Devil said, "Hold on a minute, I've got to put you on hold." The Devil was gone 5 minutes. He came back to the phone and said, "Okay. Lord, I'm back. What's up? The Lord said, "Well, I would like to talk to you about a couple of problems that we are having up here." Once again the Devil excused himself. This time he was gone 15 minutes. Finally, the Devil came back to the phone and said, "Lord, I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you now. I have to go. Those damn niggers down here have put out the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."